Given some hints already, I think another thing you could want is for me to keep doing some of the same things: dress up and look pretty and maybe even take myself out more. I think you have already made enough stabs with my financial situation to already know how life is for me. So, you would have some understanding why I can't purchase a lot of nice clothes and afford to go out. I have found some cheap buys, but sometimes, it does take money. I'm also in a pregnant state right now; so that's another story too.
Your show last night.....
That was funny with the Pope scene. I'm not saying much more about it.
I think you're also bringing up Brian Williams for some reason. It isn't that I am denying the drama in the past; I guess I don't know what entirely is going on presently. If you are clueing he is remaining persistant about his death threat and other demands; I really do not know how to handle this right now. I already mocked you both with a rape contest and said I would prefer you over him. I don't want to bring it up or be reminding but I don't know the deep water I'm in right now. Maybe it could just be shallow water that is more about violence. I can try to stay quiet but I also don't know how to be quiet with the clues you are giving. I feel I should be panicking and asking more questions but I don't know what to ask or what I should do. During a walk I had the other day, I was approached by some people of his religion Menonite? Protestant? Latter day Saints? people who gave me a track. Of course I never converted or anything but I guess I've probably also caused some ruckuss with his religion when I was talking to Anderson the other day..........
The Neal character you had on your show last night. There is definitely one Neal I know that you could be referring to, but I wonder and am creeped out with how many shares he could have and however it is that you want me to be creeped out. There is one definite thing and I will get to that in a minute. But the Neal I know.... No, I never had sex with him the night we hungout. We talked and did a little more, but for my own personal reason, nothing more than that happened.
I also don't know if you have a bisexual relationship with him, or if you are suggesting for me to have a different guy right now rather than a woman like you usually do. ??? I'm not sure how to take this.... I'm not really sure what Neal thinks of me. Especially since I'm having a child, he really would not be the type where I want to be in a serious relationship with. I know, I know, call me judgemental, it is just what my honesty really thinks. This isn't about comparing him to other people or people in capitalism either; it is just how I personally feel towards him. It just doesn't feel right to me.
With the ball back in your court.... exploring space...and you being so excited.... You really are being a painfully sadistic predator and not taking away some pain. I know how demanding you are about satisfaction and I'll let you have it. I feel like you're driving your knife in deeper and I'm weeping on the inside and will never understand WHY? why. It is something I can't explain that I've already given death threats over and I'm waking up to the reality that this is something that won't matter to you. You were intending it to be seductive in the instance last night, but it feels painfully dehumanizing. I don't know the other number of people responsible and it is something I want to stay blind to and hate that I don't know how else to communicate to you and don't even want to talk more. It's just something to not talk about keep to myself.
You make it harder to pull off anything to lie or act out with you.
~going back to my cave~
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
thinking thinking thinking
hmph.
I'll start with Anderson. If I have an "Adam," I really don't know who my "Adam," is. I've never taken any proposals seriously; I see it more as there are immediate demands of my attention. "Adam," could be Howie. If there was another local, I really don't know for sure who's share Howie's could be. I was offended at his show last year and watched few episodes.
The thing in talking to you both: the actions are that I feel I keep on getting thrown around from one stockholm to another. I've already complained of exhaustion. If you havn't noticed, you guys aren't the only stockholmers. I know I have always been against the demands of slave labor and with so many demands after feeling exhausted, this feels like more slave labor. Being a couch potato as slave labor? Yes. When my attention is demanded, there is more to it than just being a couch potato. I'm tired of the way life has been. There are these expectations from such a list of people and I feel that it has been getting me nowhere. It is back to V for Vendetta. I can't get a job now anyway, why not be a couch potato? I can temporarily do this for only so long until I ask the question once again: what is it that anyone really wants from me? What do people want? I will watch the show though.
Jon, I think there could be some gossip with you and my Aunt Sue. I don't know if you really even see me as "Assad." Of course I think it is such a ridiculous label to put on me, but I did personally hear the words "your days are numbered." I know where this was said but not 100% sure who said it. It was definitely a man who said it. That was so mean. Jon, I have a feeling that you could possibly be testing me more with bossy women and sexually demanding enemies such as Stacy and Joe that I hate. What part of "mercy," do you not hear? Do you just want me to remain an "iso," while they make their claims of dominion? Do you want to squeeze and wring out any emotional expression from me to their satisfaction? You know, I'll give it to both Joe's that they are good looking, but it really is their personalities that make them unattractive. Same with Stacy. I was never as bisexual as you made me out to be to begin with. As for Assad, I think you're just dumb to keep looking at me like that.
Can't you show some sensitivity or gentleness?
Sometimes things get in my head and I don't know what to believe. I don't mean that in a personally mental way; I mean that in a paranormal way.
In other thoughts, not a whole lot of people are saying anything. If there is anger about what I've said with China and some cruel and unusual punishment to read into, I'll just take everything back that I said I hope America goes bankrupt by China. I take it back. I think there is some math that is intentionally off of how I meant it, and forget the reason that I ever said it. Just nevermind, I never said it at all.
Maybe some people are going to take their time in saying what they think, but there has got to be some kind of explanation with everything that is going on. I can't take the pain and being reduced to nothing anymore whether: it is based on a personal nonsystematic opinion I had of someone meaning nothing to me, or not it has nothing to do with anything.
I'll start with Anderson. If I have an "Adam," I really don't know who my "Adam," is. I've never taken any proposals seriously; I see it more as there are immediate demands of my attention. "Adam," could be Howie. If there was another local, I really don't know for sure who's share Howie's could be. I was offended at his show last year and watched few episodes.
The thing in talking to you both: the actions are that I feel I keep on getting thrown around from one stockholm to another. I've already complained of exhaustion. If you havn't noticed, you guys aren't the only stockholmers. I know I have always been against the demands of slave labor and with so many demands after feeling exhausted, this feels like more slave labor. Being a couch potato as slave labor? Yes. When my attention is demanded, there is more to it than just being a couch potato. I'm tired of the way life has been. There are these expectations from such a list of people and I feel that it has been getting me nowhere. It is back to V for Vendetta. I can't get a job now anyway, why not be a couch potato? I can temporarily do this for only so long until I ask the question once again: what is it that anyone really wants from me? What do people want? I will watch the show though.
Jon, I think there could be some gossip with you and my Aunt Sue. I don't know if you really even see me as "Assad." Of course I think it is such a ridiculous label to put on me, but I did personally hear the words "your days are numbered." I know where this was said but not 100% sure who said it. It was definitely a man who said it. That was so mean. Jon, I have a feeling that you could possibly be testing me more with bossy women and sexually demanding enemies such as Stacy and Joe that I hate. What part of "mercy," do you not hear? Do you just want me to remain an "iso," while they make their claims of dominion? Do you want to squeeze and wring out any emotional expression from me to their satisfaction? You know, I'll give it to both Joe's that they are good looking, but it really is their personalities that make them unattractive. Same with Stacy. I was never as bisexual as you made me out to be to begin with. As for Assad, I think you're just dumb to keep looking at me like that.
Can't you show some sensitivity or gentleness?
Sometimes things get in my head and I don't know what to believe. I don't mean that in a personally mental way; I mean that in a paranormal way.
In other thoughts, not a whole lot of people are saying anything. If there is anger about what I've said with China and some cruel and unusual punishment to read into, I'll just take everything back that I said I hope America goes bankrupt by China. I take it back. I think there is some math that is intentionally off of how I meant it, and forget the reason that I ever said it. Just nevermind, I never said it at all.
Maybe some people are going to take their time in saying what they think, but there has got to be some kind of explanation with everything that is going on. I can't take the pain and being reduced to nothing anymore whether: it is based on a personal nonsystematic opinion I had of someone meaning nothing to me, or not it has nothing to do with anything.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Going to have to use my imagination
Man on a Ledge
I may not know the real identity of who all of the cats are. In some familiarity, I can pick up on some ideas or people, but there is not a lot of definity.
It is and isn't funny with how things look sometimes. In getting slapped so many labels and judgement, sometimes it is my own humor and even torment to try to interact or say what I think. Some people desperate and out to call me a schiz; some people desperate and out to be antagonistically judgemental and analytical of a person's loyalty. It isn't always the situation, but the agendas that other people have that bear the most weight.
My catty guess is Putin. I feel I am almost made to assume he has some common ground with Larry and one of the common grounds he has with Larry is the issue of loyalty and being against this term which some value.
I really do think that some people are very extreme and overboard when they are opposers of loyalty and loyalists.
In my own world, I think some would judge I am neither nor, but the main factor is being guilty by association. Some people that I could have associated with are some people that I could have been very ignorant to whatever their guilt was. Other people I have been awared with but having a more laid back and easy going approach.
So how could someone sum me up to be?
I would call myself an iso. I more than well know what the name coward also means and if called it, it is just a name I will have to suffer and deal with.
The thing is either side of loyalists or nonloyalists have their own specificity of what it means to survive around and amongst each other. Sometimes the facts and rules are more obvious than others. Sometimes, the facts and rules are oblivious. Besides an individual's personal snowflake fractals, are the fractals of whatever surrounding they are in. There are some painful moments of pidgeon-holing based on whatever agenda it is that someone may be out trying to prove.
I could have a side thought of arranged relationships and marriages but I will save it for another day.
I will say with Seth's cat; I really don't have a strong belief in any soap opera. I'm not sold into believing a real love and am more assumptive that he plays a Burlusconi role that I don't understand.
My other guess is that the man on the ledge is Eric. It could be Jr, but I'm guessing Eric. I still do not know what his issue was when I was temporarily living on Pine St. in Oklahoma. I'm not totally egocentric to this movie, but I have my hunches. The main character also looks a little like a local who is one of my bankers. He was giving a sign earlier that he was out to do something daring on his own but didn't really include me in his life. We only were out for a couple of days and then we just didn't talk anymore. He hasn't wronged me in any way that I am aware of.
I may not know the real identity of who all of the cats are. In some familiarity, I can pick up on some ideas or people, but there is not a lot of definity.
It is and isn't funny with how things look sometimes. In getting slapped so many labels and judgement, sometimes it is my own humor and even torment to try to interact or say what I think. Some people desperate and out to call me a schiz; some people desperate and out to be antagonistically judgemental and analytical of a person's loyalty. It isn't always the situation, but the agendas that other people have that bear the most weight.
My catty guess is Putin. I feel I am almost made to assume he has some common ground with Larry and one of the common grounds he has with Larry is the issue of loyalty and being against this term which some value.
I really do think that some people are very extreme and overboard when they are opposers of loyalty and loyalists.
In my own world, I think some would judge I am neither nor, but the main factor is being guilty by association. Some people that I could have associated with are some people that I could have been very ignorant to whatever their guilt was. Other people I have been awared with but having a more laid back and easy going approach.
So how could someone sum me up to be?
I would call myself an iso. I more than well know what the name coward also means and if called it, it is just a name I will have to suffer and deal with.
The thing is either side of loyalists or nonloyalists have their own specificity of what it means to survive around and amongst each other. Sometimes the facts and rules are more obvious than others. Sometimes, the facts and rules are oblivious. Besides an individual's personal snowflake fractals, are the fractals of whatever surrounding they are in. There are some painful moments of pidgeon-holing based on whatever agenda it is that someone may be out trying to prove.
I could have a side thought of arranged relationships and marriages but I will save it for another day.
I will say with Seth's cat; I really don't have a strong belief in any soap opera. I'm not sold into believing a real love and am more assumptive that he plays a Burlusconi role that I don't understand.
My other guess is that the man on the ledge is Eric. It could be Jr, but I'm guessing Eric. I still do not know what his issue was when I was temporarily living on Pine St. in Oklahoma. I'm not totally egocentric to this movie, but I have my hunches. The main character also looks a little like a local who is one of my bankers. He was giving a sign earlier that he was out to do something daring on his own but didn't really include me in his life. We only were out for a couple of days and then we just didn't talk anymore. He hasn't wronged me in any way that I am aware of.
Tom Calderone
It really makes sense that you would be a matrix man architect person to talk to. I used to watch VH1 all of the time. I don't know if you were the owner then, but you are bringing attention to yourself now.
I'm not sure what you would want from me. I also know your career role and an idea of what your job description includes. I wouldn't assume that you would be responsible for lyrics and, music video production. I really do love music and music has always been something nice to exist.
While there are some music videos where someone can fairly say that I should be paranoid and feel some matrix connection identity, it goes back to another example of feeling taken advantage of in entertainment. It could be seen as a benefit. It could be seen in a lot of different ways and beliefs of motives. It isn't the music videos themself that you would be responsible for my anger which makes you angry.
I do question a "Vanessa Milano," connection because of the shirt she was wearing. I used to have a lime green tank top just like that which included the side tie-up. I could guess that "Nick," could have been Shawn Shaffer. Those were the days before I had gone to a Dr. that diagnosed me with "schizophrenia," and "bipolar." You are and you aren't helping the backup to be against the diagnosis.
This is about your idea of homicide. I don't know why you would want to kill me. I could call it slave labor to some extent and feeling taken advantage of while other people would see it as I am the one who is taking advantage. There would still be other expectations in the meantime where even though I don't have the real paid job, that I still have some sort of VH1 expectation and demand to meet. So, Tom, I really do not know what you are getting at.
You want to either kill me for being ungrateful, or you would want to kill me for saying that I am the one whose "volunteering," is being taken advantage of. Maybe you're mad at some comments that I had made at Jim or some of the long list of music videos that are out there. It really does make sense that someone like you would be an architect and matrix man. I don't know what it is that you want or how to disarm you. Tom, if everything wasn't so digital my body posture would be where my hands would be in the air right now with your threat and the figurative gun you are pointing.
What do you want Tom?
I'm not sure what you would want from me. I also know your career role and an idea of what your job description includes. I wouldn't assume that you would be responsible for lyrics and, music video production. I really do love music and music has always been something nice to exist.
While there are some music videos where someone can fairly say that I should be paranoid and feel some matrix connection identity, it goes back to another example of feeling taken advantage of in entertainment. It could be seen as a benefit. It could be seen in a lot of different ways and beliefs of motives. It isn't the music videos themself that you would be responsible for my anger which makes you angry.
I do question a "Vanessa Milano," connection because of the shirt she was wearing. I used to have a lime green tank top just like that which included the side tie-up. I could guess that "Nick," could have been Shawn Shaffer. Those were the days before I had gone to a Dr. that diagnosed me with "schizophrenia," and "bipolar." You are and you aren't helping the backup to be against the diagnosis.
This is about your idea of homicide. I don't know why you would want to kill me. I could call it slave labor to some extent and feeling taken advantage of while other people would see it as I am the one who is taking advantage. There would still be other expectations in the meantime where even though I don't have the real paid job, that I still have some sort of VH1 expectation and demand to meet. So, Tom, I really do not know what you are getting at.
You want to either kill me for being ungrateful, or you would want to kill me for saying that I am the one whose "volunteering," is being taken advantage of. Maybe you're mad at some comments that I had made at Jim or some of the long list of music videos that are out there. It really does make sense that someone like you would be an architect and matrix man. I don't know what it is that you want or how to disarm you. Tom, if everything wasn't so digital my body posture would be where my hands would be in the air right now with your threat and the figurative gun you are pointing.
What do you want Tom?
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tom
I think that you may have some idea of me by now. There are stalkers of rage who don't really think clearly and then there are a more professional group type of stalkers. While you may not live the life of the real character in Mission Impossible, I would assume that you still have some level of professionalism in you. I could also use some scientology bias, but the thought of logic is more explanatory towards something else.
Your story has been different thus far. You have already taken action to restrain yourself. I was actually more paranoid with either Medvedev or a colleage who knows they want to kill and are already taking action to get a restraining order. I will probably post this to Medvedev too.
Selena Gomez? I have had some slight paranoia with the matrix name but no hard nails on the head. With another example of a movie with JLo, I have been reminded once again of the death threat. I have not seen the movie "Selena," yet either. I hate to feel that this is some sort of rat race or contest at who gets to be the killer and what gets to be the reason for the murder. You aren't the only death threat, but you are also one that can't be ignored. With some reminders, it feels more like some sort of stockholm than you being restrained. I believe how possible that is, but still feel blinded to numbers of people I communicate with.
I hate that you may also have a share with my sister Katie's husband, "David." I hate the way I am forced to answer to him and already hate his pretentiousness. I hate the idea that his ego is getting fed and decieved through you. A homicide is a homicide and you can't deny that, but whether or not a person's truth is denied, is still something a person will always know for themselves. This situation is already creating more of an obviously known resistance from me to David and I hate knowing that he is probably going to challenge himself or make me his conquest if he doesn't carry out the homicide but make me a victim of his threats.....
You can call me expensive, but you can't call me a hooker. I can definitely put you both in the Gadaffi list but both of you are still clearly two different people with your own snowflake fractals.................
I can only guess from here what your issues are. If you want me to help you put the gun down, you may either not want that or you might give answers as to how I am supposed to disarm you.
I'll explain my best guesses to your agenda of how I personally think about me and Katie. First off, in any relationship, 99.9% of the time I blame the man, not the woman. I have noticed that some women can get offended over my disregard to them and I would assume my sister is one of them. HOWEVER, in this situation, I never tried or wanted David. In the matrix there is a Dane Cook and a David Cook. Just because the matrix exists; does not mean that my snowflake philosophy does not. I can see how people can plot and plan ways to make it look like I was somehow having an affair with David through Dane, but when I was talking to Dane, I was talking to Dane. In my world, it can be fair to say that I was intentionally playing games with Dane. With David, no. With Kate Hudson, yes and no. If my sister sees herself in Hudson, she is free to see herself however she wants to, but she cannot control how I perceive her. I obviously do not see my sister as my sister sees herself. She is violently arrogant and offensive in her moments of rage. So is Kate. Still, Katie refuses to acknowledge what I think of her at all. They are both very provoking and possessive. They are both very controlling. I think my sister would compete more over a victimization game before Hudson would. Katie wants to be the bully and the victim. Hudson seems like she knows she is the bully and the bully that wants to continue to provoke and entitle herself to say I should invest my time and energy in whatever her bullying games are. She thinks I should prove myself to her. My sister acts that way too, but she is still piggish. Well, Kate is piggish too.
Back to the idea of men in general..............Sometimes there is talk and heresay as to who is responsible for what. I definitely have had a large number of sabotaged relationships with men. Sometimes it is heart breaking, other times it isn't that bad. With whoever the women have been, I have mostly labeled them as weedwackers, but also the movie "Atonement," is another example of how I would see the picture. Maggie and Katie and possibly Beyonce could be seen as the little sister in the movie. In this instance, the little sister is more innocent and ignorant than anything, but with Maggie and Katie, they give themselves the entitlement to call the shots in the relationship. I see them all as codependent. Beyonce could be different to describe than Katie and Maggie. Still, for someone to take control and want to be the boss and shot caller of the relationship? I don't know if you have ever had your encounters or challenges of someone calling the shots in your relationships, but for the most part, the third party would be a blood boiler for the majority. I'm also not naive to another woman's real seduction and intentional sabotage whether the sabotage is seductive or not. But where does the blame all go back to? THE MAN WHO IS THE ONE THAT IS DECIDING WHICH FEMALE TO GO FOR. Now, it is possible that Katie and Maggie could have been the most offended at one time or another with a list of different men other than Katie's husband David. A reason for their controlling nature, stalking, possessiveness, and violence may be trying to say that they demand my jealousy and demand that I feel threatened by them. I've been at a point where it is impossible to say anything: no matter what I do, they will be psycho. They demand control over my feelings or emotions for whatever sake of self satisfaction they are looking for. It isn't that you just can't control a person's love, you can't control a person's jealousy or any emotion period.
Some people can be good actors or they will let their emotions flare with whatever emotions they may be having. It is just how people are with or without communism. I have had my fits in my own ways over Maggie or Katie, or a list of other women that I have issues with. A lot of times I feel we are not on the same page at all and they are looking for a different type of satisfaction than what the real reason for my drama is.
Back to the idea of Atonement, I'm also not naive that the man from a distance "is somewhere in a war and being a hero somewhere and somehow fighting for my love." If there is a guy who really is a soldier, he really can be given the credit of being the soldier. But, when a person tells a story to give an idea of a lover's emotions, I'm not naive to other possibilities that a lover could be living through. There is possibilities of soap operas that could branch off from there. I'm not sure if you are looking for a list of soap opera stories to help disarm you. I'm just making up my own best assumptions to whatever reason you would be wanting to murder..................
Your story has been different thus far. You have already taken action to restrain yourself. I was actually more paranoid with either Medvedev or a colleage who knows they want to kill and are already taking action to get a restraining order. I will probably post this to Medvedev too.
Selena Gomez? I have had some slight paranoia with the matrix name but no hard nails on the head. With another example of a movie with JLo, I have been reminded once again of the death threat. I have not seen the movie "Selena," yet either. I hate to feel that this is some sort of rat race or contest at who gets to be the killer and what gets to be the reason for the murder. You aren't the only death threat, but you are also one that can't be ignored. With some reminders, it feels more like some sort of stockholm than you being restrained. I believe how possible that is, but still feel blinded to numbers of people I communicate with.
I hate that you may also have a share with my sister Katie's husband, "David." I hate the way I am forced to answer to him and already hate his pretentiousness. I hate the idea that his ego is getting fed and decieved through you. A homicide is a homicide and you can't deny that, but whether or not a person's truth is denied, is still something a person will always know for themselves. This situation is already creating more of an obviously known resistance from me to David and I hate knowing that he is probably going to challenge himself or make me his conquest if he doesn't carry out the homicide but make me a victim of his threats.....
You can call me expensive, but you can't call me a hooker. I can definitely put you both in the Gadaffi list but both of you are still clearly two different people with your own snowflake fractals.................
I can only guess from here what your issues are. If you want me to help you put the gun down, you may either not want that or you might give answers as to how I am supposed to disarm you.
I'll explain my best guesses to your agenda of how I personally think about me and Katie. First off, in any relationship, 99.9% of the time I blame the man, not the woman. I have noticed that some women can get offended over my disregard to them and I would assume my sister is one of them. HOWEVER, in this situation, I never tried or wanted David. In the matrix there is a Dane Cook and a David Cook. Just because the matrix exists; does not mean that my snowflake philosophy does not. I can see how people can plot and plan ways to make it look like I was somehow having an affair with David through Dane, but when I was talking to Dane, I was talking to Dane. In my world, it can be fair to say that I was intentionally playing games with Dane. With David, no. With Kate Hudson, yes and no. If my sister sees herself in Hudson, she is free to see herself however she wants to, but she cannot control how I perceive her. I obviously do not see my sister as my sister sees herself. She is violently arrogant and offensive in her moments of rage. So is Kate. Still, Katie refuses to acknowledge what I think of her at all. They are both very provoking and possessive. They are both very controlling. I think my sister would compete more over a victimization game before Hudson would. Katie wants to be the bully and the victim. Hudson seems like she knows she is the bully and the bully that wants to continue to provoke and entitle herself to say I should invest my time and energy in whatever her bullying games are. She thinks I should prove myself to her. My sister acts that way too, but she is still piggish. Well, Kate is piggish too.
Back to the idea of men in general..............Sometimes there is talk and heresay as to who is responsible for what. I definitely have had a large number of sabotaged relationships with men. Sometimes it is heart breaking, other times it isn't that bad. With whoever the women have been, I have mostly labeled them as weedwackers, but also the movie "Atonement," is another example of how I would see the picture. Maggie and Katie and possibly Beyonce could be seen as the little sister in the movie. In this instance, the little sister is more innocent and ignorant than anything, but with Maggie and Katie, they give themselves the entitlement to call the shots in the relationship. I see them all as codependent. Beyonce could be different to describe than Katie and Maggie. Still, for someone to take control and want to be the boss and shot caller of the relationship? I don't know if you have ever had your encounters or challenges of someone calling the shots in your relationships, but for the most part, the third party would be a blood boiler for the majority. I'm also not naive to another woman's real seduction and intentional sabotage whether the sabotage is seductive or not. But where does the blame all go back to? THE MAN WHO IS THE ONE THAT IS DECIDING WHICH FEMALE TO GO FOR. Now, it is possible that Katie and Maggie could have been the most offended at one time or another with a list of different men other than Katie's husband David. A reason for their controlling nature, stalking, possessiveness, and violence may be trying to say that they demand my jealousy and demand that I feel threatened by them. I've been at a point where it is impossible to say anything: no matter what I do, they will be psycho. They demand control over my feelings or emotions for whatever sake of self satisfaction they are looking for. It isn't that you just can't control a person's love, you can't control a person's jealousy or any emotion period.
Some people can be good actors or they will let their emotions flare with whatever emotions they may be having. It is just how people are with or without communism. I have had my fits in my own ways over Maggie or Katie, or a list of other women that I have issues with. A lot of times I feel we are not on the same page at all and they are looking for a different type of satisfaction than what the real reason for my drama is.
Back to the idea of Atonement, I'm also not naive that the man from a distance "is somewhere in a war and being a hero somewhere and somehow fighting for my love." If there is a guy who really is a soldier, he really can be given the credit of being the soldier. But, when a person tells a story to give an idea of a lover's emotions, I'm not naive to other possibilities that a lover could be living through. There is possibilities of soap operas that could branch off from there. I'm not sure if you are looking for a list of soap opera stories to help disarm you. I'm just making up my own best assumptions to whatever reason you would be wanting to murder..................
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Seth WTF?
When you first came on to me, I really did question it. It isn't too surprising that you are being another typical male. It is depressing and I'll get over it. I thought this relationship would be more but it seems like you are being competitive and wanting to intimidate me. It is too late to say that you havn't been watching me or stalking me. I have never expected anyone to pay attention to every detail about me or to be so enmeshed. It really is a good thing to not have a suffocating enmeshment, but it is also a bad thing with what you are either ignoring or provoking me with. It also says how weak of a person you are that in my most vulnerable and emotional times that you are preying on me the way you are. You're the weak one. I'm upset at both people you are talking about but moreso Kim. I'll start with John (the baby's father in my world) first. In literal life, he has not contacted me or made anything personal. In the matrix, I have seen his roles of action for what they are. There are times that I am more isolated that he comes across as Gadaffi. There are other times that are more public or have an audience where he does want to put on a show; be a people pleaser; and be in a popularity contest. I don't know who his girlfriend is; I deny I am his girlfriend.
As for "Stephon," this is another example to support the idea of a popularity contest. I take it as criticism and wanting to make me feel inadequate in the social scene. I still don't get some of the things he says or the entire gist. With how the setting was with John, how could I not assume that he has been watching me and is one of my stalkers from a distance? There will always be a large audience of varied people who watch and stalk me. While he may have the advantage of knowing about me (but not knowing me) there is still a lot that I don't know about him and it appears that I have been one of his prey's from a distance for a period of time. We just happened to hook up. Hmph. I really don't know him. I don't know his why's for anything either. He could simply be what he says he is: an immature guy who just wants to have fun and I was a one night stand of his fun. We still are not on good terms; I refuse to have an abortion.
Both Kim and John are probably the reason for what my chemistry with other people has been lately. I could assume that they would be responsible for recent communism. My chemistry has been about movies that Portman has been in: the gist and message of "V for Vendetta," and also they are people that would definitely inspire me to continue being a slut.
Both you and John right now are guilty of coming across as degrading and subjectifying. If you really want me to be Kim's loser, than you need to be the one to let me go ASAP and bust your ass for her instead of to keep pursuing a subjectification with me. This isn't love, this is competitive desperation and degradation.
Right now this seems to be nothing about fascism and popularity.
I think Kim wants to get under my skin the most when she includes a "Social work," label in her well-roundedness. I have been anorexic to any name games or labels during the times people have called me "Kim." I do take it as an insult because when it comes to even a bigger picture of government and control, I would see myself most definitely as the better leader. Of course you would pick Kim, because she would be one of the most impossible to compete with. In terms of what her "social work," role would be; it would be: to overlook your degradation, subjectification, and expectation to be her or a certain person of wealth's slave, and moreso be focused to "respect the breadwinner." Fuck you and your tyranny Kim.
Seth, she has already proven that not only is she a bad judge of character, but also a person who entitles herself to more roles of being the ultimate judge and vindicator and person who has the right to own and see me as "her piece of property."
It is already degrading to have this argument or put up a fight. I'm tired of the neverending story of being provoked and expected to be subjected to someone and forced to follow them. V FOR VENDETTA. I already know some things for myself, but I am so sick and tired NOT JUST WITH INADEQUATE JUDGEMENT BUT PEOPLE NOT TAKING "NO" FOR AN ANSWER TIME AFTER TIME. After I'd said mercy to you Seth, I would have thought that you would have relieved me from some restlessness but you're nothing but another dead end. I am inspired to not be in any relationships and be a slut. I don't know how controlling you are going to be from here or if it is stockholms that are just strictly business but still subjectifying and in an endless cycle of V for Vendetta.
People like you guys make America's democracy, freedom, and liberty nothing but a joke and something that other countries should mock and deny.
Fuck you Seth
As for "Stephon," this is another example to support the idea of a popularity contest. I take it as criticism and wanting to make me feel inadequate in the social scene. I still don't get some of the things he says or the entire gist. With how the setting was with John, how could I not assume that he has been watching me and is one of my stalkers from a distance? There will always be a large audience of varied people who watch and stalk me. While he may have the advantage of knowing about me (but not knowing me) there is still a lot that I don't know about him and it appears that I have been one of his prey's from a distance for a period of time. We just happened to hook up. Hmph. I really don't know him. I don't know his why's for anything either. He could simply be what he says he is: an immature guy who just wants to have fun and I was a one night stand of his fun. We still are not on good terms; I refuse to have an abortion.
Both Kim and John are probably the reason for what my chemistry with other people has been lately. I could assume that they would be responsible for recent communism. My chemistry has been about movies that Portman has been in: the gist and message of "V for Vendetta," and also they are people that would definitely inspire me to continue being a slut.
Both you and John right now are guilty of coming across as degrading and subjectifying. If you really want me to be Kim's loser, than you need to be the one to let me go ASAP and bust your ass for her instead of to keep pursuing a subjectification with me. This isn't love, this is competitive desperation and degradation.
Right now this seems to be nothing about fascism and popularity.
I think Kim wants to get under my skin the most when she includes a "Social work," label in her well-roundedness. I have been anorexic to any name games or labels during the times people have called me "Kim." I do take it as an insult because when it comes to even a bigger picture of government and control, I would see myself most definitely as the better leader. Of course you would pick Kim, because she would be one of the most impossible to compete with. In terms of what her "social work," role would be; it would be: to overlook your degradation, subjectification, and expectation to be her or a certain person of wealth's slave, and moreso be focused to "respect the breadwinner." Fuck you and your tyranny Kim.
Seth, she has already proven that not only is she a bad judge of character, but also a person who entitles herself to more roles of being the ultimate judge and vindicator and person who has the right to own and see me as "her piece of property."
It is already degrading to have this argument or put up a fight. I'm tired of the neverending story of being provoked and expected to be subjected to someone and forced to follow them. V FOR VENDETTA. I already know some things for myself, but I am so sick and tired NOT JUST WITH INADEQUATE JUDGEMENT BUT PEOPLE NOT TAKING "NO" FOR AN ANSWER TIME AFTER TIME. After I'd said mercy to you Seth, I would have thought that you would have relieved me from some restlessness but you're nothing but another dead end. I am inspired to not be in any relationships and be a slut. I don't know how controlling you are going to be from here or if it is stockholms that are just strictly business but still subjectifying and in an endless cycle of V for Vendetta.
People like you guys make America's democracy, freedom, and liberty nothing but a joke and something that other countries should mock and deny.
Fuck you Seth
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