~Breathing Breathing Breathing~

All I see at the core IS FEAR. Not my fear, but fear in whoever my "chief" is.

Reference:
http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/09/20/picture-me-a-model-s-diary-sara-ziff-ole-schell-interview/?icid=main%7Cmain%7Cdl3%7Csec1_lnk1%7C171718

1. I don't know the boyfriend; I would assume it is Sid.
2. I think both he and whether or not he is the chief, or someone else is directing this story, is completely FEARFUL AND AVOIDANT.

To focus in on my world, and forgetting all selflessness to others, all I see is:
"Shoot. The Sarah Palin Barbie didn't work. Maybe if we gave her a Barbie who is a model that will shut her up. We will even put a little bit of it in her favor."

In other words, I boil you down to another Dane Cook: Lets give her a candy bar. Its not even funny.

Your Barbie reality is never my reality. If you seriously want me to be spoiled enough to forget my anger, spoil me my way. Give me something I would actually want and that actually will shut me up.
I'm not the dumbass you make me out to be. I know you don't love me. I know that you would rather be avoidant and find other routes to take. ~Anything but taking on, confronting, dealing with reality~

The model most likely has more money and will bitch because I'm not selfless. It could be another trap in its own way to cause me to drown more because I'm more vulnerable, so here is my selflessness:
Dear real model. You get real credit and real money. You poor thing. You have to deal with abuse and evils in the world JUST LIKE I DO
Who knows if we really are even in anything.

Back talking to the chief: I think you're a COWARDLY ASSHOLE WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO DEAL.