On with some man drama...............
Steve, Kelly has given me the awareness that in some way, you are being a white knight for me. I appreciate it, but at the same time, I am wondering what is up your sleeves and if there is any catch, what your catches are. I have had some experience with white knights. While there is nothing I can use against you and would obviously appreciate you, I still havn't forgotten about the entire concept of the white knight trap. I am going to be paying more attention to you with what I can see and am paying attention to you for a reason.
Seth. seth seth seth. hmhmhmhmhmhmhmmahahahhaha Seth, I havn't seen the full episode, but I did see the beginning of the show. I still may not know everything about your capitalism, but I have been learning more. You put me in a place where I do have to be very straight forward with you. With the whole grey hound thing, I'm not taking the whole animal thing personally and not taking it as a Spanish Inquisition from you. Sadly, I have experienced some sexual abuse with people taking things out of context and too far. You havn't come off that way yet. If you did, I really would say you deserve to die with the rest of the sexual abusers. You're breaking my heart in a different way, and there is some kind of respect that you're being straight forward instead of playing too many games or lying to me altogether. You did have an effect on me when you lead me on though. You put a hook in me. I'm not sure if you may be further suggesting things with orgies or a threesome. I havn't googled who your girlfriend is. I know I have a connection with Penelope right now in Pirates, but just because I have one share, it does not mean that I share all of her capitalism. ~snowflakes~ I can be honest that there really are some women that I think are very sexually attractive. However, the chemistry I feel for you now is more of jealousy with your other woman than wanting a threesome. If she loves me like you love me, I don't have the mutual love with her. I'm a little afraid to know because knowing who she is just may break my heart a little more. I don't know what you heard about me or what you really think of me, but I think you may have a wrong impression of me.
In other thoughts............... I'm not sure how to completely read Kelly. I don't think she is insulting me the way people usually do. I think she is insulting me in a few different ways..... Kelly, I'll just say this, I'm not the type of person who is a people pleaser for relationships. I do hate the game. I do not consider myself having any serious or hard connections or any conformity to the game. I've already learned that in capitalism, disasters and messes are created because I really do choose to be my own person rather than conform to the game of relationships. That is who I am; that is who I will always be. So, I don't care if you are calling "Kate Bosworth," (or any other matrix Kates) the ultimate dubbed leader and shot caller of the game, I live my life for me, I don't live it for Kate, or the sake of the game. I am not out to impress Kate with any gaming skills. I am not out to be a people pleaser in anyway for her sake. I am not only not the slave of Kate, but I am not the slave of practically everyone.
Dr's. I don't know which ones may be paying attention to me. If it could be my prenatal Dr's or other Dr's who work directly with me. Or Dr's who are capitalists or on my side from a distance. Dr.'s while I will never claim you as God either, you still matter to me and your voice is still important to me. I hate the way I may look with "at your mercy," but I really want you to understand who I am as a person sometimes. In this instance, I know the blame game is probably the cause of most severe violence or chemistry with anyone. I know I sometimes crack jokes about Pamela Anderson with myself or others with "hit me," but I'm really not trying to play the role of the matador right now:
Like I have said before and that I have been rocking with myself, all I can really do is be myself:
